In love with a liar.

For two nights in a row, I've been sleeping restlessly. Two nights before, I was staying up, typing away replying the texts of a nice guy that I met online. He's replying dutifully, making jokes along the way while asking me if he could meet me one day. Found him in a chatroom (I know it's not a reliable place to meet anyone) unintended. I've been looking for anyone to talk to mostly because I was bored out of my wits and then someone pinged me using the name Lexo. a/s/l? 27, male, australian. Wow. We chatted for a bit and he asked if he could see how I look like. I said, I didn't have any photo in any of the photo hosting websites online. He suggested that I used a temporary image hosting website. He gave me his photo first. Amazing looking. I stared in disbelief that this good looking man is even chatting to find people to talk to. I sent him mine. He liked it, saying I was cute and how impressed he is at how I look (which I totally ignored as I thought, yeah, he's cute, of course he's gonna lie to me about how I look so I don't get offended). But no, he's adamant in saying that I'm truly alright in his eyes. By the time the chat ended, I have his email and he has mine. I couldn't believe that I get his email. Added him on Google Hangout, and send him a simple message, 'Hi'. And with that, we were texting like crazy. Him telling how he gets the name Lexo and the mystery why he's still single. Me telling him how it's been, the depression and how I got out. For once, I thought he's a real person behind a nickname. I started to fell for him unknowingly, because I felt like it would be impossible for him, this good looking man, to fell for me. Or I don't want to admit it because I don't want to feel like a loser for falling for someone only after one whole day of texting.

He sent me a bunch of his photos, all of them looking amazing mainly because of his sculpted physique and his great smile (I do appreciate someone more if they have great denture, mentioned this to him and he chuckled). While I only sent him photos of me from chest up just so he wouldn't see my fat body which he later state that he didn't mind, in fact he loves chubby girls. His reaction towards my physical form made me think that he's unreal and somehow made him grow on me. His affection helps too. Kept saying that he wants to come here in August or December so that we could officially meet and hang out. I was quite reserved at first, but then started to warm up to the idea. And then at night, he would end our texting marathon with, 'Good night babe, dream about me :)'. And I'd happily sank into my pillow and intend to dream of him.

Then, disaster struck. It didn't start as a disaster, but end like one because of my incessant behavior of not trusting people. Sometimes, when people sent me photos of them, I'd do this reverse image search, to see whether those pictures are legitimately theirs. For a couple of days, nothing came up. All of the photos seems to be legitimately his. And then one photo came in. I treating this as a background check decided to on PinEye and decided to take this photo for a run. And then, the results came with links at the bottom. Clicked it, and came the website of men for rent. I was sick to the stomach because plastered there are 18 photos of his face, body, everything really. I was shaking as printscreened the page and sent it to him asking who the hell is that and if he is really who he said he is. I told him that I needed time to think and he constantly trying to make me believe that his photos were being used without his permission. And I wanted to believe him, but seeing those photos makes my blood boil and my gut wrenched with anger. I had my heart broken just two days into whatever that we had.

The next morning, I woke up seeing there was no text from him. Typed in, 'Babe?' but what came up was a notice saying that the message couldn't be delivered. Then it struck, he blocked me. I was shocked and upset because I didn't hate, in fact, I believe that I've honestly fallen in love with him. Whichever was the answer, both of them turned out bad for me. One, he lied to me about his identity. Two, he lied to me about being a rent men. Unacceptable. But the damage is already done, I'm in love with a liar and he has left me broken and hardened from what he did. I'll always be another woman who were lied to and resulted in turning a naive girl into a woman with rock as a heart.