Pedih hati tu macam mana

kenapa sedap sangat suara Anuar Zain ni... Aku takleh stop dengar lagu dia yang tajuk Cinta Harus Memiliki. Lagi sedap dari lagu latest dia yang Cinta Takkan Berakhir. Lagu yang aku cakap aku suka ni memang boleh buat kita rasa sedih sebab bayangkan dia nak sangat dengan someone ni, tapi keadaan tak mengizinkan. Jadi kena lupakan, masalahnya nak lupakan susah dan sakit sangat. Aku sebenarnya tak pernah rasa benda macam tu. Bukan apa, aku cuma kadang-kadang terasa nak bahagia lain daripada sekarang ni, dan rasa pedih macam dalam lagu tu. Aku cuma nak rasa je macam mana.

Apalaa yang kau mengarut ni Ain oi hahahaha :D


Why do I enjoy feeling sad ?
Why do I watch videos that make me cry?
Why do look forward to listening to sad songs/arrangement over and over and over again?
Why do I imagine myself being in that tight spot, where I can't get out or have to die or worse?
Why do I like men that portray bad characters?
Why do I pretend to be hurt, to be in pain?
Why do I pretend like I'm okay?
Why do I feel like I'm holding on to nothing?

These are some of the questions that's bothering me today. I have no idea why I do these things, and why I insists on doing it even though it bothers me that these questions remain unanswered.

I guess life is not meant to have nothing happen in / uneventful. You just create things in your mind when you have nothing exciting happening in real life. Just so to maintain your sanity, your mind create these moments so you could put some sort of value to your existence even though it all only exists in your mind.

Who says if it only exists in your mind, it'…

Life is harder for some people.

Recently, I've been sort of obsessed with documentaries about British people who are on benefit and young pregnant girls. I feel like they are stuck in their circumstances and even though they feel desperate to get out of it, they simply don't have any idea on how to do it. Even worse when their benefit being cut off from the many policy changes enforced throughout the country. It's like when you're already at the bottom of the hill and some people just decided to dig out some hole for you and place you in it, at least that's how I feel about it.

I'm not blind that these things also happen in my own country. They are plenty of homeless people in Kuala Lumpur, got plenty of people who are living on the breadline over here in my area. These things happen everywhere I guess. It's just that Britain have always been seen as a big country with lots of resources, and it just didn't cross my mind that they would so many homeless people, or young homeless peopl…

What is today?

Today is the second wedding of my cousin. She got married to a guy she knew back in high school and they had like a meet-cute on Facebook. It was a quaint and intimate affair, not a lot of people were invited. Most of us are family or close friends. Glad to know this guy is up to be an instant-daddy to her three kids. She's luckier than most, I'd say.

To my cousin, we love you. This heavy burden has been lifted off your chest I suppose and we all wish you, your husband, and your kids the happiest and most fulfilling of days. Love is definitely worth fighting for.

Goodnight everyone.

Hugs and kisses, :)

One of the most messed up things I've ever watched is...

Recently, I watched The Handmaid's Tale, an adaptation of a book with the same title by Margaret Atwood made by Hulu Originals. It's about Offred, a Handmaid who's job is to bore children for one of the leader of the community of Gilead, Commander Fred Waterford. Mrs. Waterford is sterile, as most of the women in this story which is set in present time. Offred is one of many Handmaids. She was caught while trying to run away from Gilead with her husband and daughter. She is stuck in the house of Commander Waterford and forced to perform sex with him so she'd get pregnant. Women in this story doesn't have lots of rights, and some women hurt other women to keep them in line to do men's biddings.

It's messed up.

I don't what religion is behind the creation of Gilead, and I want to know. It's not Islam for sure. For those who thinks otherwise, Islam is a religion that gives women rights. Women can have jobs, have possessions, and learn. Women are docum…

Daddies, your daughters adore you.


Hmm, this type of posts always comes with a 'but'. If I want to say I'm writing this because of personal experience, that wouldn't be entirely correct. I bet most of daughters feels this, or have felt this.

we adore you. But please don't get mad at us for things we've done nothing wrong of. If we are, sure. We completely understand. But please don't do it if we're not guilty.

we adore you. But don't use sarcasm to get what you want. Just tell us nicely what you want us to do, and we'll do it for you. We grew up being told what to do nicely and politely, and we do the same to other people. To be told sarcastically by you is a pain in our hearts. Yet, we do it anyway. Why? Because we adore you.

we adore you. But please listen when what you do is wrong or questionable. We listened to you when we was growing up, why can't you give us the fair chance, by just listening to what we have to say? It is not difficult, we promise.

Eid 2017

A little message to my fellow Muslims all over the globe,
when we're celebrating Eid this year, don't forget those who can't eat despite Ramadhan ended,
remember those who has no home,
those who wear the same clothes over and over again because they can't afford new ones,
those who have wants to celebrate like us but has to defend their home from invaders,
those who has less than us,
those who are sick,
and those who has left us.

Celebrate in moderation. Create memories. Forgive and ask for forgiveness. And most of all, be thankful to Allah for giving us the chance for a great Ramadhan. Hope to meet this month again next year, Insya Allah.

p/s: Will post my Eid celebration pics soon :)