Little story about dad
I think I'm going to tell you stories. So many posts before this, actually most of them are some other people's stories. This time it's mine.
My father suffered from stroke. He had the third strike of stroke last year, in September. It was quite severe because on that day, left-half of his body doesn't quite respond to anything. Even the left half of his face drooped down a little bit, leaving him with an uneven facial strength and response.
Let's skip to after all the hospital treatment and rehabilitation process. To be honest, rehab doesn't last very long because it is strenuous and tiring. To an old man, rehab is like a challenge each day that they no longer have the will to take on. So, after one session each he said he no longer wants to continue doing rehab because as he said, "too stressed out". And as a caregiver, all I can do is follow the patient's request.
However, as a daughter, I wish for him to regain back his strength. His humor. His open mindedness towards other people. His acceptance of some things have to be hard to do, and that's okay. Him in the past and him in the present are too different. It broke me inside to watch this happen, but the knowledge that he already have lived a full life somewhat comforts me. This is his life. All I can do is provide enough comfort for him. To ease the pain they say. To smooth out the edges. It's a exhausting task, with little or no appreciation, but he is my father. He already did some much for all of us. Six of us. Wonder what's that like, raising all of us. Must be hectic, tiring, and yes, exhausting.
Therefore, despite everything, I still want to see him grow out of his little cocoon sometimes. But I understand that his will is no longer serving him the way that it did. It's alright. I completely understand. But I hope, I have enough strength to see him live the final stretch of his life. I hope he sees that we love him, despite what he might have said or might have done or what might happen in the future. All we want is for him to live more. To think of himself as more than just a has been. To think of himself as still a valid member of society. To think that he means a lot to us. To realize he's still lucky to still be alive and still can eat and still can walk despite not having the same ease to do it. Life is short. Being salty made life a lot shorter.
I hope I can see you laugh again. Love again. Be brave again.
Despite all,
I still love you. Dad.
My father suffered from stroke. He had the third strike of stroke last year, in September. It was quite severe because on that day, left-half of his body doesn't quite respond to anything. Even the left half of his face drooped down a little bit, leaving him with an uneven facial strength and response.
Let's skip to after all the hospital treatment and rehabilitation process. To be honest, rehab doesn't last very long because it is strenuous and tiring. To an old man, rehab is like a challenge each day that they no longer have the will to take on. So, after one session each he said he no longer wants to continue doing rehab because as he said, "too stressed out". And as a caregiver, all I can do is follow the patient's request.
However, as a daughter, I wish for him to regain back his strength. His humor. His open mindedness towards other people. His acceptance of some things have to be hard to do, and that's okay. Him in the past and him in the present are too different. It broke me inside to watch this happen, but the knowledge that he already have lived a full life somewhat comforts me. This is his life. All I can do is provide enough comfort for him. To ease the pain they say. To smooth out the edges. It's a exhausting task, with little or no appreciation, but he is my father. He already did some much for all of us. Six of us. Wonder what's that like, raising all of us. Must be hectic, tiring, and yes, exhausting.
Therefore, despite everything, I still want to see him grow out of his little cocoon sometimes. But I understand that his will is no longer serving him the way that it did. It's alright. I completely understand. But I hope, I have enough strength to see him live the final stretch of his life. I hope he sees that we love him, despite what he might have said or might have done or what might happen in the future. All we want is for him to live more. To think of himself as more than just a has been. To think of himself as still a valid member of society. To think that he means a lot to us. To realize he's still lucky to still be alive and still can eat and still can walk despite not having the same ease to do it. Life is short. Being salty made life a lot shorter.
I hope I can see you laugh again. Love again. Be brave again.
Despite all,
I still love you. Dad.
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